Aagh – patio heaters – a personal gripe of mine, too.

Shit You Don't Need

Remember when you were a
kid and you went to a bonfire night party and you stood by the huge fire?
Remember how your front was always roasting and your back was freeeeeeeeezing?

Patio heaters are even less
efficient than that.

My googling tells me they cost anything from about £100 to £570. They heat the open air. The open air is a very big space. It boldly goes all the way to Alpha Centauri and beyond. And when you’ve heated a bit of that air, you have to buy another gas bottle to heat more air.

And yes, I know that there’s an atmosphere between us and the great emptiness of outer space, I’m just trying to highlight the sheer futility of heating the outdoors. Especially as spring is finally here and the urge to sit outside gets stronger and stronger, and you suddenly become aware of all kinds…

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